Ask More Questions, Make Less Assumptions

Ask More Questions, Make Less Assumptions

Dr. Kristen here with my thoughts on asking more questions:

I've been thinking about this little girl a lot lately. 

In this picture, her biggest problems were her forthcoming little brother (who turned out to be the greatest gift she was ever given) and if Zoobilee Zoo was on TV that day. 

As I grew, I had a few more problems - some of them were ones I created myself, to be completely honest, through erroneous assumptions that I internalized as truth. 

I assumed that being a grown-up woman meant having a spotless, organized house. It doesn't. 

I assumed that my body size meant no one could ever love me. Not true. 

I assumed that my friends were only around because I was useful to them. A lie. (One I still believe more days than I like to - we're working on not being Louisa Madrigal, but it's a journey.)

I assumed these things because the world around me taught me them as truth. I gathered evidence and data from magazines, conversations, experiences and solidified them in my soul as gospel. 

None of those are true.

But I built my life and my self-concept around them. 

Thankfully, medication, therapy, and radical honesty with those who love me have helped break down some of those assumptions. I've learned to ask more questions - to myself, and to those around me. That way, I have data that's verified by trusted, vetted sources - instead of ones I gathered through Twitter, interpreted through my mental illness and low self-esteem. 

What assumptions are you making about yourself that aren't grounded in truth? 

Feelings are not facts, and facts may be interpreted incorrectly through our own lenses and assumptions. Ask more questions - of yourself, of people you trust, of people you work with. Clear communication is kind communication - even with ourselves.


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