Today, we’re talking about the importance of clear communication. We have a lot of catchphrases at Abbey Research – ‘different people are different’ is probably the primary one, but another that we’ve co-opted from Brene Brown is ‘clear communication is kind communication.’
What does that mean?
It means that when we are not clear in our language, people get confused. When people get confused, but we think we’re clear, conflict happens. All of these elements can affect our ability to understand the boundaries we need to set within ourselves and when to enforce them and when to flex them.
It also means that people want to know what’s going on, they want to know what to do to help, or what you need them to do, or whatever information you have to impart. Being clear and making sure they understand is kindness. To be kind is to be considerate, and clear communication is PEAK consideration.
And, for clarity, peak is a good thing. We learned that from the youths.
Here’s an example of unclear communication:
Erin and Kristen are talking about what to eat for dinner. They both say they don’t care what they want – but they both secretly care a lot. They dither back and forth, and finally settle on something neither one of them really wants, and they’re kinda grumbly to each other the rest of the night.
They’re holding each other accountable for information the other person didn’t know.
Unclear.
Here’s clear:
Erin and Kristen are talking about what to eat for dinner. Erin really wants some Indian food, so she says that. Kristen agrees and they both get korma and they are both happy, full of naan and coconut-y goodness.
While those scenarios may seem trivial, the debate over what to do for food is a common one in relationships – so perhaps not trivial at all!
We encourage you to do whatever you can to be kind. Communicate clearly so you and they know how to react accordingly for a continually solid relationship. This is why we wanted to share our insights on the importance of clear communication.
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