Hey, y’all – it’s Erin here, and it’s time to share my own personal story with burnout. If you’d like to read Kristen’s, you can find it HERE.
One of my biggest problems with how we talk about burnout is that we talk about it as though it’s something you go through once. You get burned out, you find a way out of it, and all is well. What we discovered in writing the book was that burnout is much more fluid and flexible than people like to talk about.
It was this realization that helped me realize my own journey through burnout. I’ve written before on this blog about caregiver burnout. Since realizing that was the type of burnout I was grappling with, I’ve become a big advocate for understanding caregiver burnout.
my experiences with caregiver burnout
I wrote about my own experience with burnout in our book and I’d like to share parts of that story now. During the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic and restrictions, I became the primary caregiver for my elderly and disabled mother. I struggled with the weight of all the unpaid work that meant. I still expected my mother to return to her former level of fitness and contribute to our household.
Changing my perception of the situation was a massive perspective shift for me. But I was still stuck in the burnout zone and unable to get past the burnout threshold (see graphic below). My gender played a big part in my caregiver burnout. It took me time to realize that my limiting gender roles and identity stopped me from asking for help from other family members.
Let me be clear: No one ever told me that I had to do it all. That I couldn’t ask for help. Or that it’s not okay to say I’m struggling. And yet, I realized those were the core feelings at the base of my burnout-related stress.
how i handle my burnout
These realizations have certainly helped me deal with burnout, but the burnout hasn’t gone away. Unlearning a lot of my thoughts and behaviors is taking time, and it’s hard work. I still fall into periods of burnout – where I take on too much and I don’t communicate my needs. In the last 6 months, there have been trips to the ER for a fractured rib, a sick cat, and unfinished contracting work to add to the pile of stress.
Sometimes I’m not good at handling my emotions. Because I’m a human, and being human is hard work. For me, working through my burnout looks like time to rest and recuperate, doing things that bring me joy, practicing yoga, and going for walks in the park. It can be too easy to sideline those activities in favor of the next item on the to-do list, but when I make an effort, I notice a difference.
If I can leave you with a few tips, here’s what I’ve learned:
- Burnout is not something we only experience once.
- What works for my burnout management works for me, not everyone else.
- Working your burnout takes work – it’s hard to break patterns.
I hope you’ve learned something from my personal story with burnout. If you want to hear more from us about burnout and what you can do about it, sign up for our newsletter HERE.
If I’ve piqued your interest into our book, learn more about it HERE.
